I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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