Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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