im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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