Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
