i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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