Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
