And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
