She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
