you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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