Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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