My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
