I want to make a zoo with you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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