Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
