i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
