How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize