New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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