a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
