Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
