Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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