Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
