It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Life is so much better after having sex.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
