I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
