so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I need water and some morals
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
