Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
