sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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