then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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