You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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