OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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