Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize