I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
They took my balls.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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