You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
