you mean i was at the winter classic?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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