he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
