Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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