haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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