somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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