He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize