I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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