then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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