R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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