I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He kissed a someone with a penis
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
