His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
