you have to choose: penises or morals?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
