whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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