There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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