Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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