im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
