you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
