I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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