I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This girl is more easily done than said...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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