Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
