For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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