Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
