Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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