I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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