this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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