i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize