their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You did what with his pubic hair?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
